Run, Katie, Run!

"I just felt like running..."--Forest Gump

It's September at last! This is my favorite time of the year. Despite living in hot and humid Florida, I think of the months of September through December as "fall". Well, technically this time of year IS fall, but we Floridians all know that fall here is a very different thing than fall in other states. I live in this delightful fantasy world where the leaves all turn yellow, red, and orange, and everywhere you turn there is the comforting aroma of fires crackling and pies baking. A girl can dream, indeed. Sadly I must settle for brown leaves and the aroma of my favorite "Fireside" candle from Bath and Body Works (which actually smells like a roaring fire). The pies, however, I can handle. Apple, pumpkin, it's in the bag, baby.

What I also love about this time of year is that the weather draws me outdoors more than usual. When you live with such heavy humidity most of the year, you tend to revel in being able to be outside and breathe the fresh air into your lungs and not have sweat dripping down your back only four seconds after walking out the door. When it cools down, I want to spend as much time as possible outside, even if just to sit in the grass in my front yard. It also gets my tushy outside and walking! Yes, exercise. My nemesis.

Clearly, when I put my mind to some things, such as weight loss, I go after it like a hunter. I weigh my portions, I journal, I do everything as diligently as possible. As long as I am focused on doing it, I do it right. Exercise on the other hand, is my downfall. I simply don't care for it, plain and simple. I recognize that it's a lazy quality I have and likely is a huge source of my problems with weight. I also recognize that somehow, some way, I'm going to have to find it in me to learn to like it if I want to stay on the path that I'm on and remain there.

When I was a kid, I was very active. My twin sister and I climbed trees, rode our bikes, played kickball, and shot baskets in the driveway just about every single day. I recall loving P.E. class at school, particularly when we did the 50 yard dash runs because that was where I shined. I never had the stamina to run for miles and miles, but in short distances, I was fast. Very, very fast. There was one girl in my class, named Mary, who was just as fast as me, and sometimes faster. Sometimes not as fast. But I was always determined to beat her no matter what. I regret not holding onto that drive when it comes to athleticism. If I had, maybe I could've been a high school track star. Or a college track star. Or just an adult with a better outlook on exercise and a more dedicated workout ethic.

My first time at the rodeo with Weight Watchers, back in 2004, I developed a good routine. I lived in a large, spread out neighborhood in St. Augustine that allowed for long walks in all possible directions. The streets made so many different twists and turns I could walk over two miles in a different direction every day to avoid becoming bored. I would come home from work, immeditately change into my walking garb, and head out the door. This was where I would do all of my meditating, thinking about my goals, my fears, my dreams; my peaceful time. There was no sprinting, no body shredding, just simple, fast walking. I was so dedicated to my simple walk that any friend that came to visit me was forced to go outside and walk with me. If I went to visit my dad in Orlando, I would find time to go walk near his home. The funny part is that I didn't start excercising till about 30 lbs into my weight loss. Getting to that point where I had to begin was the agonizing part.

Today, I am finding myself in the same boat. Last fall, I was doing okay. I was out walking in the evenings joined by my husband and some neighbors. I wouldn't say I was in turbo mode, but I was out there nonetheless. Then came spring, then the misquitos. Then the heat. More heat. Then the stifling, suffocating humidity. Ugh. I was done for. The towel was thrown in before I could even reach for it. It's a terrible excuse, using the heat as a reason to stop excercising, but that's basically what I did. Sure, I could've found all kinds of other ways to work out. The indoors offers loads of options--videos, wii activites, basic aerobics, all kinds. Did I do any of those? No. Why? I'm still trying to figure that out. When it comes to motivation to work out, I just don't have it. A girlfriend of mine says she has the opposite problem. She works out like a champion on a daily basis with swimming, walking, and zumba classes. But she tells me that her dedication to healthy eating is severely lacking and is her downfall. I've told her that if we could somehow fuse our brains together we'd be superhumans!! If only...

One thing I do take as a good sign is that at least I acknowledge that lazy part of myself. I know it's there and I know it needs to be tinkered with. I want to change and be more physically fit. I want to get off my butt and keep moving. It may take me more time to get there than it took me to get to eating healthier, but I have faith that I'll get there.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been walking a few days a week. Even in the heat, I've been forcing myself to do it. And what do ya know, it actually feels pretty good! I'm still not a "runner", although one of my fantasties is that one day I could be. David, my husband, is trying to work on me about that. He can run and run and run. He's competed in numerous races, from 5k's to half-marathons. The longest I have ever run in my life without stopping was ONCE back in 1998 on a treadmill, and it nearly killed me. No, I'm not joking. I would love to be able to run a 5k without stopping. We started to do that Couch 2 5k program last year, but that's what I was doing when I stalled out when the heatwave arrived.

I'm hoping to give it another shot, especially since I'm carrying a lot less weight on my frame than I was in the spring. Last night, we had to stop over at my in-laws house to pick something up, and I hopped on their treadmill while I was there so that I could squeeze in a 30 minute walk. I walked at a brisk pace for the first few minutes and then attempted to turn the speed up slightly. I began to jog. And jog. And jog. Before I knew it, I had jogged for almost the entire half hour. I couldn't believe it. I know it sounds kind of pathetic to anyone who can jog or run a mile like it's nothing, but for someone like me with no stamina and a pretty lousy excercise history, it was nothing short of miraculous. Even today I wish I was outside trying to run a little. It felt absolutely fantastic and empowering.

I've been planning to walk in a 5k on October 1st in St. Augustine with an old friend of mine. It's a breast cancer walk called Pink Up the Pace. (http://www.pinkupthepace.org/) All the proceeds go to breast cancer awareness education. All around it's a great cause and it should be a very inspriring walk. My friend has already informed me that she does not run, so our plan has been to just walk it. Maybe after getting this little push in my tush I can convince her to try and jog it a little. Who knows...

I don't know if I'll ever become a bonafide runner. I've honestly never tried to be one, so I have no history to fall back on in that department. If anything, I'd just like to be able to jog a couple of miles so that I can join David every once in a while.

But I'm gonna try. Just watch me.